A lot of the new dialogue was written as I was recording it. It's really clunky and expositional, and that's no good. I'll tighten it up and write some new stuff this next week.
Some of the shots at the end are missing Malcolm, but the framing won't change once he's added. Just pretend like he's there.
8:55 pm: I realize I keep forgetting to correct Rhonda's "You hungry?" line. It should actually be something like "What are you looking at?" or "What are you doing?"
8:55 pm: I realize I keep forgetting to correct Rhonda's "You hungry?" line. It should actually be something like "What are you looking at?" or "What are you doing?"
Great work! Very funny!
ReplyDeleteI think you could shorten it a bit more if you wanted. Personally, I don't even think you need the chicken at the end- but I can hear the class disagreeing with me about that. If you keep it, you may not want to show the long shot of her until after the CU through the window, so it is more of a surprise.
You could shorten the hallucination scene, as well as some of the dialogue.
I was a little unclear on what happened with the couch when (Malcolm?) joined them. I am sure sound and actual animation would clarify the scene.
Great work!
I just watched this from the link you posted on LA Casting, and I have to say...it cracked me up. I'd very much like to audition for ANY roles you haven't filled. My voice reel was sent via LA Casting, but if you'd care to hear it again I can e-mail it to you as well.
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